


Dreaming of Revelry

by rockinthebeastmode



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 08:12:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16850386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rockinthebeastmode/pseuds/rockinthebeastmode
Summary: Series of moments in Finn and Rae’s relationship set to Revelry by Kings of Leon.





	Dreaming of Revelry

_What a night for a dance, you know I’m a dancing machine_   
_With the fire in my bones_   
_And the sweet taste of kerosene_

“Try and have a good night, yeah?”

I wrapped my arm around hers and smiled but inside I was jumping around madly.

Tonight, it’s all gonna change. For weeks I’ve been getting closer and closer and tonight..

I watched as she took the offered pill from Chop but refused one for myself. I needed a clear head if I was gonna make a move. 

Fuck, I was nervous. There was no way it could happen right now. We went our separate ways onto the crowded dance floor and I was caught up in the hype. Later on for sure…

_I get lost in the night so high don’t wanna come down_

She kissed him. Fucking hell, she kissed Archie. My best mate.

_To face the loss of the good thing that I have found_

Was I wrong? I thought she could feel it too…

*

_In the dark of the night I can hear you calling my name_   
_With the hardest of hearts, I still feel full of pain_

After everything, the bullshit with Archie and Chloe, finally confessing myself to her and she ends it. I thought we were good, we were solid. God, I wanna hate her but I can’t. I just can’t.

I can’t be around her right now. It hurts too goddamn much. It killed me to see her cry when I told her that but I can’t take seeing her and not being able to touch her…kiss her…be with her.

_So I drink and I smoke and I ask you if you’re ever around_   
_even though it was me who drove us right into the ground_

Nights at the pub are so different without her. The pints aren’t as good. The music sounds distorted. I can tell the gang misses her presence but they respect my wishes. 

Some nights I can’t help but ask after her. Chloe sees her sometimes, when she’s not with Stacey and her bitch squad. Izzy and Arch see her in the halls, talk to her when they can. She’s hard to find most of the time. I don’t see her much at all. I’m not sure whether to be happy or sad about that.

It must’ve been something I did. I tried asking her when she first broke it off. Tried desperately to call her back, find out why. Nothing.

_See the time we shared it was precious to me_   
_But all the while I was dreaming of revelry_

*

“Because, I’ve got no other reason to stay…have I?”

Tell me to stay. Just tell me to stay. Please.

She just looked at me. I thought I saw a flicker of something but her eyes went to the clock and it was gone. She said we’d chat about it later…but there’s nothing left to say.

_Gonna run baby run like a stream down a mountainside_   
_With the wind in my back I won’t ever even bat an eye_

I went home and packed a bag. Said my goodbyes to Dad. Got on my scooter and tried not to look back. She obviously didn’t want me to stick around. Why would I?

_Just know it was you all along that had a hold of my heart_   
_But the demon in me was a best friend from the start_

I threw myself into work. Scaffolding is exactly the kind of work I needed. Hard and relentless. Grueling and monotonous. Anything to keep my mind off of her.

*

_So the time we shared it was precious to me_   
_All the while I was dreaming of revelry_

This time around it was better. We made it almost two years. Everything was so good, so promising. I wanted forever with her.

_And I told myself oh the way you go it rained so hard it felt like snow_   
_Everything came tumbling down on me_

Why the fuck did I kiss Katie back? Because I was lonely without her? Because I was pissed she lied to me? Because she pushed me away? I could’ve helped her, not been so bloody stubborn and asked for a break. I should’ve done everything differently.

_In the back of the woods, in the dark of the night_   
_Palest pale of the old moonlight_

I apologized for fucking up. I’m not good enough for her. That’s no excuse but it’s the only one I’ve got.  
She knew exactly what to say to that. I wish I could’ve come up with the words to get her back.

_Everything’s just felt so incomplete_

She left for Bristol and I stayed in Stamford. She’s gonna do great things. I can only dream of being a part of it someday.

_Dreaming of revelry_


End file.
